


Why Konoha Ninjas Don't Use Phones!

by Lady_Blade_WarAngel



Series: Crack Fic Madness One-Shots! [7]
Category: Naruto, Naruto Shippuuden - Fandom
Genre: Anti Mobile Phones, Complete crack, Drunkenness, Gen, Something Involving Monkeys, The Pot Calling The Kettle Black, Violence Against Naruto, sake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-04-10 09:29:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4386599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Blade_WarAngel/pseuds/Lady_Blade_WarAngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Naruto decides to ask Tsunade why she keeps using messenger birds to summon them, instead of simply calling them on their phones. Tsunade has an answer, no matter how crazy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Konoha Ninjas Don't Use Phones!

**Author's Note:**

> Complete crack, I hope you enjoy reading. LOL!

Why Konoha Ninjas Don't Use Phones.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

Naruto was sat under a tree one day eating doughnuts when a bird started flying around above him. He glared at the little brown bird.

“Damn it! Why can’t Baa-Chan let me eat my doughnuts in peace?” Naruto almost wailed. Then he got up and started heading for the Hokage tower. He walked along, and saw Sakura, Sai and Yamato heading towards the tower also. “Why does Baa-Chan always send birds for crying out loud?” Naruto yelled out irritably. Sakura whacked Naruto over the head and glared.

“I don’t know. I gave her my cell number last week!” Sakura yelled back. The group made their way to the Hokage tower in silence after that.

When they walked into Tsunade’s office, they saw her writing something down as she spoke to someone on a... telephone? She looked very serious as she wrote down whatever information was being exchanged.

“Thanks Mac.” She stated seriously, placing the phone on the hook. Then she grinned widely. “Ah a nice conversation with my bookie is always good for cheering me up.” Tsunade stated.

Sakura, Sai, Naruto and Yamato anime fell on to the floor. Sasuke and Kakashi came into the room after that. “Okay you six are going on an S rank mission to capture an Akatsuki member. He’s new and apparently uses monkeys.” Tsunade stated. The group stared wide eyed at Tsunade for a moment, then Naruto stepped forward.

“Tsunade Baa-Chan?” Naruto asked gently.

“Yeeees Naruto?” Tsunade asked back.

“Why do you always call for us using messenger birds? I mean I have a cell phone, Sakura has a cell phone, I think we all have cell phones.” Naruto stated. Everyone looked at Sai. He pulled out a black cell phone from his pocket.

“Even the emotionally retarded one has a cell phone.” Sasuke stated stoically.

“Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.” Sai muttered.

Tsunade stared at the group for a moment. Then she grinned widely.

“It’s much cooler to use messenger birds then phones.” Tsunade replied. Everyone anime fell onto the floor. Then Naruto jumped up glaring.

“That’s ridiculous!!!” Naruto yelled.

“Well that’s the way it is. All ninja use messenger birds.” Tsunade stated.

“So what you’re telling us is that if we have trouble in this battle, and we call for back up, we have to send a messenger bird instead of using our cell phones?” Sakura asked.

“That’s correct.” Tsunade replied.

“A bird that might take a week to get here, in which time it’ll take a few days to gather up the right team for the mission, and then it’ll take them a week to find us?” Sasuke asked.

“That’s right.” Tsunade replied again.

“And in the time the bird takes, and picking the team, and the team’s journey, we could all be killed anyway, and our potential deaths could be avoided by using our cell phones?” Sai asked.

“Absolutely.” Tsunade stated happily.

“Baa-Chan?” Naruto questioned.

“Yes Naruto?” Tsunade replied.

“Have you been drinking Sake today?” Naruto asked.

“Of course I have! Twenty seven bottles and counting.” Tsunade replied. The group tilted their heads to see over fifty bottles lying around behind the desk.

“Where did the other bottles come from then?” Sakura asked.

“What other bottles?” Tsunade asked, as she looked around curiously.

“I think it’s time we went on our mission.” Kakashi stated.

“But this dude uses monkeys!” Naruto yelled.

“We can discuss the details on the way.” Kakashi stated. The group took the scroll from the table and left the room, while Tsunade searched the room for more Sake. And that is how the group found out about why Ninja’s didn’t use phones.

**Author's Note:**

> So... now you know my crazy theory, I shall leave you to ponder upon it. LOL! Thanks for reading and I hope this made you laugh.


End file.
